Bend, Oregon Divorce Attorney: Planning Tips
If you are considering divorce, formulate a plan of action.
The first step is to examine whether you truly want to divorce. Move beyond the vague notion that you will be happier or better off without your current spouse. How do you decide whether you truly want to divorce? Only you decided whether to marry your spouse and only you can decide whether you want to divorce.
In truth, many of us choose marriage in order to meet our needs for companionship, stability, support and a myriad of other factors. What happens when those needs change and our spouse does not change with them?
Counselors can be a very helpful resource to those considering both marriage and divorce. A counselor is able to assist you in setting and evaluating goals for your life and assessing whether your spouse can be a part in helping you achieve those goals. Your goals may be as simple as being in a loving, supportive relationship. A counselor can help you define what constitutes a loving, supportive relationship and assess whether your spouse can be a part of that goal.
If you belong to a church, perhaps your pastor can help. I hesitate to recommend friends and family because they may have preconceived notions of your relationship or personal interests that may interfere with your best interests. Friends and family also can be significant disrupters in the divorce process making the divorce more difficult for both you and your spouse. On the other hand, friends and family can also be very supportive. They may offer perspectives on you and your spouse that you had previously not considered. Ultimately, the decision to involve your family in the divorce process is yours. Carefully consider whether they can offer assistance without complicating your decision or your divorce.
Occasionally clients retain me before thoroughly evaluating whether they want to divorce. When that happens, the client is ambivalent and conflicted which often leads to mixed signals and prolonged delays in the divorcing process. From time to time my client will decide to stay married – a decision I always welcome if the decision is informed and realistic and not based on fear.
When you determine that you want to move forward with divorce you should next consider your future. What will your finances look like after the divorce? Will you continue your current employment? Will you continue running your business? Will you require training or re-training? Will you relocate to another city or state? One or both of you will have to relocate from the marital home unless you are already living apart. If you have children, what will parenting time and custody look like?
Educate yourself regarding your income, assets and debts. Obtain a free credit report at annualcreditreport.com to assess your marital debt load. Gather information regarding your assets and financial accounts to assess your financial condition. If you decide to divorce you are saving yourself time and money as your attorney will need these documents.
If you begin to realistically address these questions early on, you can formulate a plan to move forward with your life. You will be less fearful and spend less time second-guessing your decision to divorce.